Safeguards

Greetings, friends.
So, those who now have access to Scrawlspace will notice that I've moved it and limited its availability to invitees only.

The reason is that I'm feeling a little concerned about the access Gray has had to my life, so I'm making changes and shutting some doors and windows to help protect my space and privacy. I'm limiting access to the blog, changing passwords, locks, etc. Recent events have led me to believe that I need to draw some clear lines of demarcation, and that I can no longer be sure I know what he will do or say.

Gray came home early on Friday from his Magical Mystery Tour and came straight here from the airport to ask me to take him back. I told him I didn't know if I wanted him back. He pressed his case, but I told him I needed time. Today I let him know that I am not coming back. I did it as gently as possible, just explained that what has happened between us has changed the way I feel about him and what I want for my future. I want to move forward now, not back. I'm going on with the divorce, and as quickly as possible.

He seemed to take it well, at first. But then he opened his mouth and some nasty things came out. Instantly I realized what a great decision I had made. The scales have been falling from my eyes these days. Honestly, I don't know how I stayed married to him for as long as I did. I just couldn't see him for what he is. Not only do I no longer love him, it's all I can do to keep from hating him.

I'm hoping that maybe if I can move up the finalization date on the divorce, cut down on interactions and get our lives separated as much as possible, maybe that will help end the drama. Selling the house of course would be the best cure, but there's nothing I can do about that. I just want to put the whole grisly mess behind me, get my feet back on the ground and start blazing a new trail.

Godspeed, John Glenn.