A Brave New Year

Happy New Year.
I spent all day on New Year's Day lounging on the sofa, reading, and practicing my guitar. I'm not really as awful with it as you might expect. I've been learning new chords from online charts, and looking up easy song tabs to try out. I still can't change chords without piecing them together finger by finger, but there are several I now remember, at least.

I love my sexy black guitar.

So, the washing machine was out all week. I called on Saturday, then again on Monday. Finally on New Year's Eve the guy came out to take a look at it. I explained that it doesn't turn on. You pull the switch. Nothin'. So he tried it. Sure enough, nothin'. He tried it again. Nothin'. Again. Nothin'. Again again again again again, really fast.

Damned if the thing didn't come on.

He kind of smiled at me, shrugged, and split. So now I have been slogging through a week's worth of laundry. My life is so exciting.

I got an email yesterday from the folks at Oklahoma Magazine. They've scheduled the photo shoot for "Single in the City" for Tuesday. That's fine. Here's the catch: I have to dress MYSELF. Yes, here I was being confident that they would dress me, but Nooooooo. I am expected to come up with my own Look. And to make things worse, I have a color scheme to adhere to. Black, gray, brown and.... green.

GREEN???

Are you shitting me? I don't think I even own anything green. Now I'm beginning to hyperventilate about the whole thing. I'm expected to bring two outfits: One casual going-out outfit, and one dressed-up going-out outfit. Here's another kicker... All my fancy dress clothes are in storage. I'm hoping and praying my friend Jin can dress me. She at least has taste.

New Year's Eve was low-key. Biff, as I mentioned, went MIA, so I called my old friend Chris Freihofer and begged for an invite to his annual New Year's get-together. There were seven of us who got together for dinner at Misal and then hung out drinking and talking at Chris and Beth's until midnight. I was back at my folks' house at 12:20.

So here we are in a new year, trailing clouds of glory from all the drama of the last one. I know that this year ahead will take me to a whole new place. Possibly one I cannot even imagine at this point. I have one goal: get comfortable in my own skin. Right now I am so uncertain and screwed up that everything messes with me. I overthink everything and second guess myself and misconstrue situations and conversations. I'm a ball of doubt.

So that's my goal. Make peace with myself. I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, I'm thin and pretty enough. And by gosh, people like me.

Surely. Someone.