Countdown

This morning I am sad to the point of inertia. I feel weighted, as if my very skin pulls heavier on my face than usual. Everything is an effort.

The countdown has begun.

Today is the 21st. Two more nights in my home with my family. That's all. Just two nights and two days. Then it's over. I feel as though watching it slip away is killing me. I can't stand it, and I can't stand for it to be over, and I know I can't do anything but just survive these days and believe it will be okay on the other side. But it doesn't feel like it. Not today.

I had terrible dreams. Woke up in a sweat over and over. Then Grayson had a sinus problem that brought on an asthma attack and he had to be nebulized and dosed with decongestants at 5 a.m. I of course, put off packing his medicines until last night. So I had to tear open a box and rummage through to find what he needed. I got him to bed at 5:30 and half an hour later he woke me crying that the cat had bitten him. He just wanted me near. So I grumpily crawled into his little bed with him and we slept together until 8:30.

Then Gray got up and griped that I had let us all oversleep. I not to graciously told him he'd better get used to setting his own damned alarm clock. My feelings about that are probably best left to the old paper journal.

I am filming for Frontier Country this morning. (See "I am the all-knowing woman of mystery" from last December) They need a few more takes to fill in some gaps and make a few changes to the storyline. The problem is, that I need to dress the same way I did for that shoot last year, and I have NO IDEA where I've put that gray skirt. I packed it away in the spring, and all the boxes with my fall clothes are in the POD somewhere. So when I'm done here, I get to go out and rummage around in search of the skirt.

I packed my closet and Grayson's closet last night. One good thing about the apartment... even though it's small, the closets are comparatively huge. I've lived in old houses for so long, I can't imagine having even average closet space, much less these luxurious and spacious mini walk-ins with rods on both sides, top and bottom! I'll have to post pictures of the closets on Thursday. I'm sure they will seem laughable to any normal person. But to me their the freakin' Taj Mahal.

Out to the pod I go...

>>>> Hallelujah! The skirt was in the box under my bed the whole time. Life is good, after all. Nice to notice, too, that it fits better this year. I've lost ten pounds since that shoot.