Dude Review 2

Last night I had my first date with Roddy. He's a very cute National Guardsman, born in Britain, raised in Jamaica. We had dinner at Sweet Basil, and followed up with drinks at Bison Witches. A laid-back, getting-to-know-you date, very informal. I stole this photo off his Facebook page. Can't really see his face but, seriously... do you need to?

He's frankly a little intimidating. Not on purpose. His manner is very relaxed and friendly. I think he doesn't know how bizarre and exciting his life has been. He went to school with Bob Marley's nephews in Jamaica. Moved to New York with his family when he was 17 and joined the British army. Decided to travel around the world, joining up with various militaries, but got side-tracked by marriage, and went into... get this, I'm NOT kidding, deep-sea construction. Yeah, diving down and building oil rigs in the open ocean. He also helped to build the Big Dig in Boston.

Got divorced, lead river trips for awhile, got remarried, re-joined the US National Guard and got sent to Iraq. Came back, got divorced (again). Now he's a career Guardsman, doing surprise inspections on units all around the area.

I was surprised at how little his accent showed, though I could hear it more after he'd had a couple of Guinness than I could hear it at first. His background is Jamaican (dad), Scottish (mom) and Chinese, a few generations back. But he looks like your average European mutt. Cuteness factor: definitely a positive. Accent under the influence of alcohol a STRONG positive. But I'm not sure if there's any connection. As I said, what stories can I possibly have to tell to a man whose life experiences are so off the map? I felt like the most boring person I'd ever met compared to him.

He said he'd had a good time, however, and we should definitely get together again, so we'll see. I couldn't have made too bad an impression. I tried to hold up my end of the conversation. He was not in any way full of himself. I truly think he takes his unusual circumstances completely for granted. It would be fun to go motorcycling around doing cool things with him...

Meanwhile, no further contact from Bob. I went out this weekend and bought a copy of that book "He's Just Not That Into You," which has become my bible. I'm not calling another man. Ever. And I'm keeping my heart under lock and key.

On that topic... Gray came by yesterday afternoon with Grayson. They had a couple of hours to kill during the Open House, so they hung out with me. Gray and I talked a bit about our dating experiences, and I told him that his advice and suggestions were a bit much for me. Okay, a lot too much for me. I reminded him I'm not his buddy. I'm his ex-wife, and just because I wouldn't take him back doesn't mean that it doesn't still hurt me that he has someone new, that she's hanging out with her baby in my house....

And Gray once again offered to take Grayson full time. I was pissed. I told him "that insults me. Do you think I'm unstable? Incompetent?" He said no, but he would make a standing offer to take Grayson and continue to pay child support to me. WTF??? I told him thanks for his standing offer and he could just accept my standing refusal. I don't know what he's getting at with that offer, but there does seem to be this general assumption that I'm a bit unstable. Hell, Maybe I am. Probably I am. But he's not the paragon of sensibility he's making himself out to be right now.

He was miffed that Grayson knew about Biff lying to me and cheating on me. But I told Grayson that to explain to him why his mom was acting crazy, crying and screaming into the phone. I didn't want him to think it was because of him, and since I hadn't been able to regulate my reaction to the whole situation, he was party to waaaaay more of it than he should have been. I don't regret telling him. I guess I should have told Gray that I had done so. I have promised myself to keep my personal dating life way more secure from Grayson than I did with Biff. I won't mention any names until we've been dating for MONTHS. I just can't put the kid through that again. I know it's not healthy.

I realize that Gray is genuinely concerned for Grayson and (probably) for me. But I told him we need more separation between our lives. I don't need or want to receive inside information about his relationship, and I don't intend to share inside information about mine.

I'm going to go on record here and make a prediction, however. Bethany's going to screw him over. She has not taken down her Match account like he has, and she has a long history of dating multiple guys over long periods of time. Either she's going to double-dip on him, or else she's going to suggest they both start seeing other people and Gray's going to be hurt. I know he is right where I was when I met Biff: ready for affection, coming out of a habit of commitment, totally trusting. I just have a feeling about it. I told him I didn't want or need to meet her. He gave me his "what a bitch" look and said hey, I'll come to the wedding. That's time enough to meet her. But she's going to dump on him one way or another, and you heard it here first.

Meanwhile, I am in the process of arranging a meeting with a Match guy in Dallas. I'm going to Texas on a media blitz at the end of this month and so we've agreed to get together for dinner while I'm there. He's funny as hell in his emails, so we'll see.

Dating makes me tired.