I hereby hold these truths to be self evident:
That I am fundamentally a good person with no more than the average flaws and failures.
That I have a proven capacity to love and be loved.
That I have, therefore, an inalienable right to be treated with respect, kindness, and compassion. I have a right to choose my company, my friends, and my lovers, and if, at any time, those friends or lovers should become onerous or harmful to me, I have a right to disassociate from them, with or without explanation. I have a right to speak the truth and a right to decide for myself if that truth should be spoken, and to whom. I have a right to be free from abuse, either physical, mental, or emotional. And as in the Wiccan creed: If I harm none, I have a right to do what I will.
Signed this the fifth day of July, two thousand and fifteen:
Linda McConnell DeBerry
I sent John one last pleading, self-abasing message, apologizing again, asking for an explanation again, Receiving more "fuck you" messages. This time it's because I sent a message to his friend Clayton a few days ago, telling him about John wigging out and asking him to take care of him. It was a strange message to send, now that I think about it. I don't know why I did it. I'm often not very smart about my Facebook usage. Probably I'd been drinking. Sigh. When will I learn???
Anyway, the message I got from John was unequivocal and nasty and made me cry and doubt my humanity. But I talked to my mom (thank god for my mom) and she said "Drop. him. He's not your friend." And you know what? ... He's not. I may have hurt him by breaking up. It may have been hard for him to stay my friend afterward. But I never abused him. I never called him names, and I never did anything deliberately to hurt him, even when I was sorely provoked, as yesterday, when there were a whole slew of harsh realities I did NOT lay down for him. And yet he has done all of that in spades in just this last couple of weeks. Like it was his fucking job. So I sent one last message telling him I would officially disappear from his life, his family's life, and anyone he ever might remotely know. And I blocked his number, defriended anyone who might know him, erased him from my contact list, and blocked him on Facebook. I was thorough. So that's that.
Today I am free of mean "friends," and I get on with my life and don't waste any more time thinking about it.
It's Independence Day.
Long may I fucking wave.
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