Assumptions and Rituals

I have learned that the "very brown college girl" at my tanning store does not lead the simple carefree college life I imagined for her.

When I arrived this morning for my spray-on tan, she appeared at the front desk with a pink-cheeked toddler wrapped in a blanket. Her little boy. He was sick and couldn't go to daycare, so she was taking care of him while she tried to find someone to cover for her at work. He was adorable, all soft and big-eyed, with those creases at the wrist that only toddlers have. I just wanted to gather him up and snuggle him. He had eyes just like his mother's.

It just goes to show how far off base our assumptions about people can be. Here I figured she was a goofy college girl, and she's a working mom.

Another thing I've been thinking about this morning is the rituals and habits that make up our daily lives. I've been noticing several in our family routines lately.

Dogs and kids in particular like rituals. Bedtime is a ritual for Grayson. From the call for jammies to "books in bed," (often the same ones over and over) then toothbrushing and footdragging until he comes leaping up onto our bed and calls "TAXI!" Then Gray comes in and carries him, generally upside down and backwards, into his room for bed. Then there is a drink of water, a vitamin, kisses and hugs and generally some horsing around involving Gray laying on him and pretending to sleep. Then Gray leaves and turns out the light and I lay down with Grayson for a minute to snuggle and tell him how wonderful he is and how much we love him before saying goodnight. Sometimes we lay there together and talk and give each other the giggles. For some reason at bedtime everything seems funny to us. Those are the best nights.

In the morning, usually in the wee hours, Grayson crawls into our bed with us. When the alarm goes off I pat the boys and tell them it's time to start being awake, and gradually, while I'm making coffee and letting the dogs out, Grayson will snuggle over to Gray's side of the bed. This is when the waking-up rituals begin. These consist first of Grayson snuggling close to Gray, then Gray throws an arm over him and hugs him, which gradually changes into some form of annoyance. Either he rolls over onto Grayson to squish him, or he starts tickling him, or something, to make him start to giggle and squirm. Usually I hear shrieking of laughter within about 5 minutes, and sometimes Gray pulls Grayson's socks off and throws them down the stairs, or yanks his pajama bottoms down, or wrestles him off the bed onto the floor... with Grayson squealing with delight the whole time. Generally I end up putting a stop to all the shenanigans by bringing Grayson his clothes and requesting that he get dressed. Whereupon my loving family refers to me as "the fun sponge" or "the fun vampire."

It's not surprising that he's generally a few minutes late for school, with all of this going on.

The dogs have rituals, too. When I'm going down the stairs in the morning to let them out, Kobi charges ahead, but Flower comes down the stairs at my left side. About five or six steps down the stairs, she stops and looks up at me, waiting for me to pet her face and neck. I give her some love and we start down again. Usually she stops one more time before we reach the landing to receive her love. Then she switches around to my right side and follows me into the kitchen to go out the back door.

When Gray comes to bed, Kobi eagerly waits for him to start pulling up the covers. Then she climbs up onto them and "surfs" the blankets as he pulls them up, ending on his chest where she can lick his chin and get her ears scratched before bed.

Little rituals that give our lives a predictable shape and texture.