In Which I Ponder the Prospect of Teenagerhood

Grayson has a new hobby. Sort of. He has attached himself to a group of adolescents and pre-adolescents who haunt the open area just under our apartment balcony. He's a hanger-on, a wannabe. He goes out every time he hears them outside, and he just hangs out. So far they pretty much just tolerate him. They range in age from about 12 (I'm guessing) to maybe 15. Mostly boys. One precocious pre-adolescent girl whom I'm pretty sure Grayson has a crush on. Grayson calls them, collectively, "The Teenagers." They are his new favorite people.

He's learning all kinds of valuable stuff from them, not all of it I am comfortable with. First, he came in and said "I know what teenagers do for fun."

"What?" I asked, somewhat apprehensively...

"They text."

The requests for a cell phone of his own began soon after. No, No, and No.

Then last week he popped in and asked me "Mom, what's sperm?"

Erp. Well, honey.....

And later that evening he told me that the girl was running around shouting (albeit gleefully) that the boys were "sexually harrassing" her. Yes, it's an education indeed.

I am not quite sure how to proceed here. There's not really any good reason to stop him from hanging around them, so far, at least. But I'm a bit concerned about what else is being said or done that I'm not witnessing or hearing about. Most of their interactions take place right under the balcony, so I get a sense of it. And G really is just hanging around the periphery. He's not really part of the group. But he's all eyes and ears, that's for sure: just soaking it all up.

Right now he is still so wide-eyed and innocent, open and loving and completely transparent. I dread the day when the Wall of adolescence descends upon him and he begins to be reticent, withdrawn, secretive... absorbed in that self-absorbed private world of teens. Makes me want to snatch him up and snuggle him while he'll still tolerate it. What will I do the first time he turns away or shrugs me off? Sigh. I have to remind myself that every new and wonderful stage of his development involves some loss as well as new gains. And of course I want him to grow up, mature, become his own person. I'm eager to see what he turns into. Just not yet. Not yet.

On a More Positive Note

I know I've been a real downer lately. I'm stressed out about the house, money, my future... blah blah blah.

Once again I feel the need for a therapeutic listing of the good things in life. So, today's list is of Ways I'm Lucky

1. I have a steady, reliable job that I enjoy (mostly)
2. I have a terrific, happy, healthy and well-adjusted kid
3. My parents are fantastic people who love and support me
4. I have a few dear friends I can call on to listen and understand
5. I have sweet crazy Bob, who loves me
6. I'm healthy and reasonably strong
7. I may not have enough money at the end of every month, but I have ways to cover my ass until better times come along.
8. For the most part my divorce is not bitter and G and I are able to work together for Grayson's best interests
9. I'm not fat, ugly or stupid. (no comments from the peanut gallery, please!)
10. I generally have a pretty positive outlook. I may get blue, but I'm not one to wallow in misfortune. I tend to make the best of things.

So there. See? It's not all bad.

AND this morning on the way to work, when I was stopped at a light getting on to the highway, I was fortunate enough to witness a scissortail flycatcher diving for its breakfast over the road. I love the way they open their tails and hover, sweep and dive. What a great state bird to have! It's definitely one of the best.

Iin Which I Visit a King and Bury a Saint

Bob and I took the boys to Dallas on Saturday to see King Tut. It was a loooooong-ass drive, but the boys did remarkably well, sitting in the back together, exchanging electronic gaming devices. They are actually getting to be friends, I believe, which is some relief to me. Life will just be easier if they are friends.

The Tut exhibit was enjoyable, if crowded. I was really ready for some open space after we got out of there. Especially after shepherding the boys through the gift shop. So we went to Dealy Plaza to see the site of JFK's assassination.

It was odd. Just a curve of road. But someone at some point painted two big white Xs on the road to show where the car was when the first and second bullets hit. Bizarre. People kept going out into the road to have their pictures taken while standing on the X... while Dallas traffic roars past, oblivious. We took the boys across the street to stand on the "Grassy Knoll," where the supposed second shooter was stationed. They spent their time rolling down the hill, and we spent ours lounging on the grass, making "grassy knoll" jokes. Bob pocketed a pinch of grass from the Grassy Knoll, with the intention of laminating them and giving them as joke gifts to his friends. Only He would think of that.

Monday, in a fit of desperation, I went to the Catholic book store and bought a $7.00 statue of St. Joseph. I took it to the old house where Gray, Grayson and I made a little ceremony of burying it – upside down and facing the street as prescribed – in the front yard next to the For Sale sign. I'll do whatever voodoo, witch-doctory or shamanism is required, at this point, to sell that damned house. If this doesn't work, I'm sacrificing a chicken.