Another Milestone Missed

Last night I realized that I have washed Grayson's hair for the last time.

I ran a bath for him and then hung out in the living room, reading a book and drinking wine while he splashed about. He came out all wet-headed and warm and cuddly in his jammies (which are, once again, noticeably too small) and I realized that some time in the last few months I washed his hair for him for the last time. I don't even know when it was, and of course at the time I didn't realize it was the last. I know I washed it for him at least once while we were at the apartment, but I haven't done so for months. Another piece of his childhood, gone and over with. I stroked his wet head and tucked him into bed and realized in another year or so I won't be doing that anymore, either.

Of course I want my boy to grow up strong and independent, but it's hard to lose these little pieces of him. He is such a sweet, gentle little boy, it's hard to imagine him as an adolescent. Hard to imagine myself without a little boy who wants to sit on my lap and hug me and play with me. Who loves me more than anyone in the world.

G told me that on the way back from their trip last weekend, Grayson asked him if he believed in Santa. Sigh. I will have to remember to hold on tight to every minute now....

Friday he goes back to his dad for the last week of summer, and then I get him back full time. I have enjoyed having some time to myself in the summer, but it's been too much! I feel as if he has spent all summer with his dad. When he's with me, it feels like we barely have time to get used to each other before he's gone again. I'll be glad for the beginning of the school year and the return of a normal schedule for us. It's selfish of me, but I don't care. I've missed him!